Our Top Picks: 12 Ridiculous Laws States Would Rather Have Than Gay Marriage

Published on The Daily Femme – Thursday, Nov. 11, 2010

Contributed by Annamarya

Laws have always fascinated me. The fact that a governing body consistent of officials who are far removed from the people they represent can decide what you are and aren’t allowed to do is absolutely insane. Why? I suppose it boils down to the ideological argument of what is right vs. what is wrong, whether philosophical or moral, and who really truly gets to determine that answer. But I digress.

What fascinates me more, though, are some of the actual laws that exist in the country. ”Strange” laws (I prefer to call them asinine) in America is nothing if not familiar, with most shaped during that murky trial-and-error period when states were developing. But, as Huffington Post recently published, some of these laws, even if not enforced, are still on the books. And, as HuffPo points out,there are 30 states with bizarre laws that have yet to uphold the 14th Amendment of the US Constitution and extend equal rights to its LGBTQ residents. That’s right: According to Dumb Laws, states like Florida would rather criminalize singing in public while in a bikini than legalize same-sex marriage. Luckily for us, HuffPo has compiled a list of 12 of these states that continue to operate in such absurdity and from that, here are our top picks. Enjoy reading the list while I go stand in LOVE Park, sing poorly in a black one-piece and extend a fierce middle finger to the Sunshine State in honor of my two moms.

1. Alaska: It is unlawful to view moose from an airplane. (via Dumb Laws)[What about the mascot for the Rochester Knighthawks? No? Well, Alaska, I didn’t want to play lacrosse in your state anyways.]

2. Florida: Unmarried women who parachute on Sundays may be jailed. (viabored.com) [Oh, Florida, you slay me!]

3. Tennessee: “70-4-208. Unlawful importation of skunks (a) It is unlawful for any person to import, possess, or cause to be imported into this state any type of live skunk, or to sell, barter, exchange or otherwise transfer any live skunk, except that the prohibitions of this section shall not apply to bona fide zoological parks and research institutions.” [So I get the whole transporting animals thing. Once I tried to get a Tasmanian devil across state lines and let’s just say, someone somewhere is missing their manhood–kidding, maybe. But it’s the specificity that gets me. A skunk? I’m thinking an official got sprayed by an adorable bugger and decided to take out his revenge through law rather than just buying a freaking can of tomato juice and taking a bath.]

4. California: In Riverside, kissing on the lips, unless both parties wipe their lips with carbonized rose water, is against the local health ordinance. (via LA Cityzine) [Seriously?]

5. South Carolina: “SECTION 20-7-8915. Playing pinball machines. It is unlawful for a minor under the age of eighteen to play a pinball machine.”

6. Arizona: It is legal for a man to beat his wife once a month. (via bored.com)[I’m disappointed but can’t say I’m surprised that Arizona has a law like this on the books. After all, they did pass the offensively misguided immigrant law].



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